Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
