Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
