Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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