i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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