I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
