when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
