My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
