this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
