oh god the rape fog is back!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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