You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize