I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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