so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize