it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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