Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
why didn't you poke me back
i would punch a child for taco bell
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
