i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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