I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
