Its about making memories worth repressing
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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