apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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