Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize