we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
