Nicole vs. Life
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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