I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
