Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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