I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
