my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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