are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
