So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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