He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just invented taco cereal.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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