why didn't you poke me back
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
