found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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