I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
