TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
