It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize