I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize