I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
