Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
