I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
