she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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