would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
