y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
