I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
