Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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