We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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