Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
