Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
