Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there is glitter all over my balls
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
