I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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