I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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