The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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