why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
