member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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