And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
