return my video game
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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