ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
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She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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