Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize