I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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