I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize