see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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