Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
