you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
