i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
