I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
