So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
