There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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