I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize