I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
